vkgy | lastfm

Tuesday, September 17, 2024

✁ tattoooooooooooooooooo


i got my first tattoo today :3  i've considered getting a heart-shaped ant trail tattooed for a while now, and i decided to just go get it now by my friend than getting it done professionally later.  i'm aware of the risks, but i wanted to get something special, kind of like a parting gift before i move away from my friends. the idea was to have her draw it by hand and have her ink it so that i'd carry her memory (why does it sound like she died? you get the idea...) with me while we live on opposite coasts.  my friend has experience tattooing herself and others, so it's not like i went into it blindly.  i trusted her enough.

another friend showed up around the same time i did which probably helped to improve the atmosphere because i was a little nervous.  the actual procedure was not painful but also not painless, it just felt like a bunch of cuts or cat scratches (both of which i'm well acquainted with).  there was also a stinging sensation which i felt more.  it only took half an hour, and then the other friend decided to get a heart done on her ring finger (as seen on the right pic).  then we all ate tiramisu together.  yayyyyy


i have a really bad headache right now.  i hope it disappears in the morning

Tuesday, September 3, 2024

✁ [2024.09.01] STANDIN ON BIDNESS @ Wildwood Skate Shop (shitty live+hangout report)


possibly my last show here in the 209.  my friend and i've been hyping up this event for the past week or two, i thought it would be THE show to end my time living in california. the plan was to go to the show and have a sleepover ^_^

i don't use any of my friends' names on here unless they know about this blog lolol. which they don't

i pulled up to my friend's house at around 3pm; she was bringing a friend and cousin(? i have no idea who that guy is) with us.  we spent a good while getting ready and taking pictures, mostly of her cat
(lol).  we made a stop at walmart to buy batteries for my camera and to return something, but the batteries i wanted were nowhere to be found so we just left at exactly the time the first band began playing @ 4:20pm.  oh well.


i somehow lost my $20 that i was going to use for the tix but i had extra money so it's whatever (it was not, i'm still upset 30 hours later).  my friend wanted to be funny so she blasted a very explicit song (i forgot the name sorryyyy) at full volume with the windows down.  anyways, we got to the shop just after the first band's set ended, i think it was Pistol Grip.  we met up with another one of my friends outside but we needed to buy our tix.  i secured two fliers because demons came over me but i also secured a copy of the compilation cd that the event was promoting.  i was surprised to find out that the event was taking place outside in the back, which i don't think has ever happened before (or often?).  it was hot out, the sun was blinding everyone, but it wasn't that bad.

shortly after we made it outside, the second band, GOVERNMENTAL MANSLAUGHTER's set began.  i feel that the event taking place outdoors didn't let the crowd reach their full potential because i sure didn't.  without the usual indoor skate spot's ramps, i had no way of seeing the band from where i was standing, and my camera could barely pick up anything.  not even extending my arm as far as i could would help me get a good shot of the pit and band.  i also think that the sound wasn't as good as it would've been if it took place inside, but that's just me being nitpicky.  it was still good i was just not used to this setup lolol. there was a break in the middle, which allowed me to get closer to the front and get a good pic since the crowd outside thinned out.  anyways, they ended their set with a Mortician cover.  the crowd lost it and it was all good and fun #yay


we waited for the next set in the parking lot, then went back inside for the third band after like ten minutes.  derogatory was playing this time, and i unfortunately ended up further back in the crowd so i couldn't see ni mierda.  nearly all of the pix i took were just a bunch of scalps.  and even more unfortunately, there was an angel (iykyk...) with the most heavenly smiles.  so gorejus Gorgeous gorjeus i was spacing out but i was scared of staring so i looked down for half of their set. 


mandatory merch table pic (govmanslaughter & derogatory) →

the fourth band playing was In Chaos.  my group moved indoors immediately after derogatory's set ended, which was surprisingly where the event moved to.  you could feel everyone getting their energy back, because more people were moshing and even my friend's cousin was getting into it. i stood on my usual spot that allowed me to stand taller than everyone which helped me get better pics. i'll forever be an indoor show truther, it was so so sooooo much fun.  the wall paint was flaking off so i took a piece (as seen on the bottom right corner of the haul pic at the beginning) as a recuerdito or something. apparently someone had passed out by the end, so everyone had to stay indoors away from the front while they were carried out to an ambulance.  oh


unfortunately, that was the last band we saw because my friend's friend was to go home early (approx. 7:30pm) and my friend had to finish some school work.  we went out from the back of the shop, but before going back to her house, we grabbed canes and got greedy.  my friend wanted to be funny AGAIN so she played the same song she blasted when we went to the shop right as we picked up our food from the drive thru. then we finally got home, devoured everything, and played a bunch of games on my friend's tv.  i learned that night that i suck at guitar hero, but then later learned that i was handed a shitty guitar. so maybe i don't truly suck at it, i don't know.

after her friend cousin guy left around 10, my friend essentially tried to keep me occupied while she finished her work so she put on gta for me.  i had nothing to do anyway so i gave myself driving lessons there instead of running people over.  her kitty, el chulo, came over, which was really nice even though all he did was sit on her bed.



until we heard the sound of EL CHULO PEEING IN HER CLOSET on her backpack.  he looked so smug, too smug.  too nonchalant.  cooled the fuck out, he dgaf.  anyways, he got kicked out of her room.

once she finished her homework at 12am we got hungry again so we got some mean carne asada. we sat there in her living room eating meat like poor little mice with forks.  el chulo was sitting politely (like in the picture above on the right) as if he wanted meat, but after the pissing incident we were like "hell no." but she gave him meat anyway.  i would've too but i was too busy eating like a poor mouse

after that, we were just on our phones and cameras sharing the pictures we took of the event and of ourselves.  as we did that, she put fight club on in the background and went back to her phone lolol.  we sat looking over our pictures for an hour or two, then we stopped and then i ended up sleeping at ~4am.  the morning after was uneventful, with the post-hangout depression setting in.  after i left, it hit me hard and even worse as i'm typing this at 2:50am.  i wish we stuck around to see the numetal band that my mutuals were talking about, but really i wanted to see all bands play.  but even more than that i want to hang out with my friends as much as possible before i move.  aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh






Monday, August 12, 2024

✁ wantlist / shopping

i just need a nicer place to put my want/shopping list in. i need visuals not links in my phone notes app

*wip i'm still clearing out my notes and tabs

    ✁ jewelry + accessories

    tops
alice auaa net/spiderweb sweater
alice auaa net sweater / 
 

    OPs / dresses / sets
Na+H nurse dress

Na+H nurse dress / DFL vampire bat bikini set


    shoes
Demonia SHAKER-100 knee-high bootsDemonia WRATH-100 spiky sandalsLAMODA zipper boots



    ✁ misc.
- small ~12in/28cm black trunk suitcase
- portable cassette player (Sony Walkman WM-FX195)
- portable vcr (audioVOX VBP2000)
- regular vcr
- cassette deck too
- new scanner+printer!!!! (Canon G3070)

Thursday, June 13, 2024

✁ running on an unspecified number of hours of sleep

trying to get over someone is easier said than done.  you simply cannot let go of the memories you had together, especially if they were with you for a greater part of your life. but you also don't want to ruminate in said memories because it'll make you more miserable.  the relationship is near dissolved, it's no longer what it used to be, but one side has trouble accepting reality and will cling to what it was. 
. . . 
in these cases, some cannot help but watch the other from afar.  direct interaction is more painful due to complete changes in the other's personality, attitudes, etc.  it's jarring to see someone whose perception of you've built in your head on years of interactions suddenly become an entirely different character.
. . . 
the relationship isn't over, but it's not active either. interaction is minimal.  there is no more hope in initiating a conversation in the hopes that their behavior from the past months was merely temporary, that their old self would come back.  but you still can't let go, so you simply observe them.  observe their limited online presence and just maybe, you'll get a peek at what the dry attitude and lack of contact are hiding.  but there will be an inevitable one-sided bond, a bond nonetheless, forming between the observer and subject.

Sunday, May 12, 2024

✁ hormiga


i love her so much

✁ 5/12

tonight is so bad so miserable i had no choice but to listen to the cd i force myself to microdose.  like a cigarette to a recovering nicotine addict that was caught in a bad situation.  limerence is the #1 leading cause of death in me; to be paranoiac and limerent is the closest you can be to the floors of hell.  but at least this album is good.  it’s my one savior forever and always. it’s the only sane choice i had for tonight anyway

these earphones suck but it’s all i had after my current ones broke not even an hour ago (an omen………………

Sunday, May 5, 2024

✁ fox vertebra keychain

clear heart capsule keychain with a fox vertebra inside
i made this sometime during the summer of last year(2023).  i loved having it on my purse until it fell off once not even a week after i made it.  it scared me so much i've kept it in a box since. 
i wish one small bad experience didn't scare me away from keeping this on my purse.  it feels pointless to make something to ultimately never use it, but i'm too scared of losing this keychain that i put a lot of love into.  i want to put more accessories on my bag and make it more 'me,' but i'm scared of losing the little accessories that took me forever to obtain.  i wish i wasn't so restrained by fear. my life would have been and would be much easier.

✁ tattoooooooooooooooooo

i got my first tattoo today :3  i've considered getting a heart-shaped ant trail tattooed for a while now, and i decided to just go get ...